The "Fake Smile"

Every day we are surrounded by people that have problems that we know nothing about--both internal and external daily battles. But instead of realizing this truth, we treat people like they don't matter; we neglect them, we ignore them, we hurt them, and we leave them. But why do we do this? Aren't we, too, fighting battles that those around us know nothing about? Why are we not more sympathetic to the battles that others are fighting. As usual, I'm sure everyone has their theories, but I think it's due to the societal norm of the "fake smile."

The "fake smile" is yet another cultural euphemism for misconception. In today's day in age, people are perceived as weak or weak-minded if they cannot keep their problems and emotions in check. But, WHY? Is it not human nature to have feelings and emotions and, more importantly, have the urge to share them with others? I feel as if we have become a culture of robots--where our sole purpose is to walk around with a fake smile and make other people believe that our lives are perfect, no matter how much we may be falling apart inside. But do you want to know what the worst part is? We all do it. Every single one of us. We silently compete with each other to see who is toughest mentally and pray that those around us will crack under the pressure before we do. And we all know how it feels because we've all been there. We've all gotten to a point of exhaustion and desperation. We've all gotten to the point where we question whether or not we have the strength to keep fighting another day. We have ALL been there. We desperate hope someone will see how hurt and exhausted we are, but the moment someone starts to care, we push them away...WHY?

My answer? The "fake smile." I think this euphemism has brainwashed us into actually believing that we are really okay; so, the moment someone responds to our cry for help, we flea or push them away or hut them for no reason. We are a culture of stubborn indecisiveness. We want to have it all together all the time, but we can't and we don't. We want people to help us in our time of need, but we can never humble ourselves enough to receive the help. We hate being the charity case, but complain when people try to help us...if only we weren't always wearing that fake smile.

So, how do we change this? Well, it's always excruciatingly difficult to change societal norms--history tells us that. But, just like anything, we have to first make ourselves aware of what we're doing. The moment we remember that every person we encounter is fighting a battle we know nothing about is the moment we remove the defense mechanism. The next step may be the hardest one. And that is to push through the walls that we all have built. It's tough, it's tedious, it's exhausting, but in the end, it's REWARDING! The joy you feel after helping someone during a tough season of life is a feeling that may not be duplicated or taken away. Moreover, be consistent! Keep helping people, be accountable to them and for them. Offer constructive criticism when it is warranted and show them love when it is needed. The last, but most definitely not least important step is to NEVER STOP PRAYING! We so often underestimate the power of prayer. This simple but effective act can literally move mountains!

And, just a few closing remarks...
I feel that so often we minimalize the necessity of intentionality in relationships. Be genuine! We cannot get through this life alone and we most certainly were not designed do. We need each other. We need people to cry with us on the bad days and laugh with us on the good ones, and most importantly, we need each other to lift us up when we don't think we can do it ourselves anymore. So be free of your fake smile and watch the mountains in your life move.