Conviction.

I saw them again.

I was scrolling, and I saw them. 

Those words...

And suddenly the pain came back. 

I saw the texts. 

After the texts came your voice. 

I remember it so clearly:

My phone rang and your name popped up;

You were asking me to come over...you told me things were over with her...you begged me...

But I said no.

But who am I kidding? Even I didn't believe me. 

I wanted to say yes, GOSH did I want to say yes, 

But I couldn't. As much as my flesh wanted to say yes, there was something in me that was stronger that made me say no

Conviction. 

But why would I want so say yes anyways?

To be with someone who hurt me and took so much of me when he left?

A question I've struggled with since you left...

The answer is hazy; sometimes we can't help whom we have feelings for and sometimes those feelings never fade away. Sometimes we will always love a person because that person helped to shape who we are; 

But you lied. 

Things weren't over with her. You lied to me, again...

Conviction. 

You tell me over and over again that you love her,

But I must inquire; what kind of love is based on lies? What is a love that is manipulative, and hurtful, and deceitful? 

What is love without honesty? What is love without trust?

I do say, it is, in fact, not a love at all; but rather, it is possibly the idea of love or the love of love. 

A true love would never allow you to do such things to your beloved; 

A true love is beautiful, and wonderful, and inspiring, and true, honest, and good...

It is the voice in your head that says 

NO

in the tempting times.

It is conviction;

Conviction to always, always, do the right thing in the face of adversity.