Insomnia

Here I lie at the break of morning and I only feel one thing:

Pain. 

You are the only thing that evades my late, insomniatic nights. 

So many memories flash through my mind...

I think of how blissfully and unconditionally happy I was when we met years ago

I think of the way you used to hold my cheek whilst kissing me 

I think of the way you would roll over in the middle of the night and pull me closer

I think of the way it was...

And then tears fill my checks and soon my pillow

I just wonder.

I wonder why I wasn't good enough

I wonder why you didn't see in me what you saw in her

I wonder why you didn't choose me. 

But stop!

Who am I? To be hung up on some poor excuse of a man that doesn't have the ability to fully love another

More tears come.

I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to mourn....

To mourn the loss of someone that never had you in their heart is perhaps a greater pain than loss itself. 

Erase. 

Erase you from my memory.

You didn't exist; you never happened. 

The late night calls, the good luck kisses, the memories

Eras....

But wait,

How can I do this?

How do I erase the memories and the footprints of someone that gave me so much to remember? 

How do I forget someone that I completely surrendered myself to?

How?

It has been 6 months since your lips met mine for what I didn't know would be our last goodbye kiss

I wonder. Wonder why it had to be like this

Why couldn't I get my happily ever after

Erase. 

I can't erase the time we shared. 

I can't erase the feelings I had. 

But what so few fail to realize is

The one whom our heart desires most may be the very reason for our late insomniatic nights, the tear filled pillows, and our sorrow.

But one last thing

I never told you this, but I've been wanting to say...

You ignited a fire in me that cannot die.  

But I've come to realize that you're afraid of flames.